Health and Wellbeing Project Support Officer, Sian, looks into pronoun basics and gender inclusivity in the workplace.
At VONNE, we understand how important it is to be able to foster a safe space where you feel able to be yourself. While it is not compulsory in any way, some of our colleagues may wish to have their pronouns displayed on their email signatures. This is to promote and normalise gender inclusivity in our workplace and with external colleagues, so everyone is addressed correctly. This blog post will explain some pronoun basics.
What is a pronoun?
We use a personal pronoun to refer to an individual in replacement of their name. This helps us identify them.
Cisgender people may not think about the pronouns that are used to refer to them. A cisgender woman may have people referring to them using she/her/hers. A man may have he/his used.
This is often determined by societal expectations of presenting femininity and masculinity. People may assume that because you look a certain way, you are cisgender and present on either side of the binary.
However, it is important to recognise that there is a vast range of gender identities and although people may ‘look’ a certain way, it does not mean they use the pronouns that you have assumed for them.
Transgender and/or non-binary people often find that they have to consistently announce and remind people which pronouns are appropriate for them. This can have a mental and emotional toll on the individual.
Intentionally using the wrong pronouns is a form of everyday transphobia. This is also known as misgendering – see below.
Firstly, it important to understand that non-binary isn’t a third gender. Using they/them/theirs is not, somehow, in the middle of man and woman.
Using they/them/theirs may mean that the person does not identify with either side of the masculine/feminine binary. Their gender identity does not fall within the binary division of woman/man.
However, some trans women and trans men, do identify with either side of the binary. It is important that their pronouns she/her/hers and he/his are respected. Someone does NOT have to medically transition to be a trans woman or trans man, it is not appropriate to ask about this in anyway. They do not need this to ‘justify’ their pronouns.
Neo-pronouns
Some trans and/or non-binary people use other pronouns such as ze/zir/zirs. These are called neo-pronouns; therefore, it shouldn’t be assumed that a non-binary person will use they/them/theirs.
There is a wide range of pronouns, some of which you can see, here.
What is misgendering?
Misgendering is when someone uses the wrong pronoun for an individual. Intentionally or not, this is a reminder to the individual that someone does not recognise them for who they are.
Mistakes happen and that is okay as long as you correct yourself politely and move on. There is no need to make a big deal of the situation.
Creating Opportunity
Sometimes it is important to create channels for people to have the opportunity to understand someone’s pronouns before speaking to them. Email signatures are a great way to do this, you can also add them in your Teams name (you may need to contact your IT or Human Resources Team to do this). Or ask a friend or colleague when a new person joins the team. Alternatively, there is nothing wrong with asking directly as long as you are polite.
Remember, people’s pronouns change all of the time, they’re fluid, so remember to be flexible with this and willing to learn.
HR Forms and Processes
It is important that HR forms and processes are inclusive as possible when you are promoting pronoun use across your organisation.
Titles, the generic ‘he’ and terms of address.
- Always make sure to have a wide range of titles available when people join your organisation. You may already have Mr, Mrs, Miss and Ms but also have Mx (pronounced Miks) as this does not refer to a particular gender.
- Avoid using the generic ‘he’ in formal policy. Sometimes ‘he’ is still used in policy as a generic pronoun, referring to all members of a workplace. Using They/Them/Theirs is inclusive of all genders and can be used in different contexts.
- Avoid assuming that everyone is fine with being referred to as guys, girls or ladies in the workplace environment.
- The term Guys has become no longer gender or sex specific. However, sometimes addressing a group in this way can create a feeling of gender dysphoria.
- Girls can have a similar impact. You might colloquially refer to your friends as girls or ladies, but depending on who it is coming from, it can have a detrimental effect, and come across sexist and misogynistic.
- If you don’t know everyone’s pronouns and gender identities, don’t just assume they all consider themselves ‘ladies’. This can also be considered misgendering.
- Try gender-neutral alternatives, ‘hello everyone’ when greeting your team, instead of ‘hello ladies and gents’, for example.
Sexuality
While including a variety of pronouns in your HR processes is important, so too, is including a variety of sexual orientations.
- Try not to mix colloquial terms with more formal terms. For example; Straight, homosexual, bisexual. Use instead Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual.
- Don’t erase Lesbians. Someone may want to identify as Gay, but also offer the option of Lesbian for those who identify as such.
- Try to be inclusive of more than Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual. Add in Queer, Asexual and more!
- Don’t forget that sexuality and gender are different. Non-binary isn’t a sexuality, just like bisexual isn’t a gender.
- You could allow for a free-text option for people to self-define their gender or sexuality too.
- Allow people to tick more than one box.
Why is it not compulsory?
Safety
Declaring pronouns can be a daunting prospect for trans and non-binary people. This can be an issue of safety and can still expose someone to forms of violence and discrimination in society. So, it is important to appreciate that this individual has chosen to share this with you or within a company.
Not being ‘out’
If you are cisgender, pronouns are something that typically, everyone gets right, and it is potentially something you have never had to think about. For non-binary and trans people it can be a repeated situation of having to correct, or ‘come out’ to people who may have assumed their pronouns. Gender may not be clear on appearance as it is for cisgender people. Again, coming out in a space which is uncertain, adds another emotional and mental toll, they may worry that people will think differently or react badly, so there is always an element of risk. So, again, appreciate that the person trusts you or your organisation enough with this information.
Resources
Language and Gender Inclusivity - Who we Are - Newcastle University
akt - LGBTQ+ youth homelessness charity
Be: Trans Support & Community (be-north.org.uk)